Mathias Turns 3

In about a month my baby boy will turn 3. He is closer to 6 now. The age of reason according to the Catholic church. I am faithful and probably shouldn’t write about it since they say to avoid talking about politics, religion, and money but lately it has come up. A lot. 

One of my close friends across the pond also has anxiety issues and takes prescription medication for it. She believes it is somewhat of a burnout. In any case, she is very catholic and has been motivating me to pray and trust that if we offer our sickness as a cross, God will help us heal in due time. I’ve also had other close friends who know my connection to religion suggest going to mass, speaking to a priest, or praying. My Mom and uncle also suggested I reach out to a priest that is a friend of mine. 

I’ve lost motivation in a few things including this blog and yes, my religion. So I’m trying to hop back on the train with both. 

First, I’ll talk about my religious steps. So I reached out to my priest friend, Padre Pedro, who lives in Rome. I did a few community volunteer projects with him back when I lived in Belgium. He is very modern and I can speak to him about almost everything. So we did. And he helped. He told me to really focus on my therapy, taking the medications I was advised, and working out. He did not recommend I pray and actually understands how it is hard to focus on almost anything when I’m going through a down, even an Ave Maria. So I will take his advice and get back to the gym and work out once the kids go back to preschool. Both have been home since last thursday with hand foot mouth virus. 

Now, onto the book and blog motivation or lack thereof. One of my doubts is if I want to write and be recognized on the topic of depression all my life. I’m not sure. Also, someone asked me what the hook of the book is and I don’t have one. So, now what? Do I want to write and be recognized for depression? I don’t think so. Does writing help me heal? Is it helping someone else? That was my initial objective. I have no idea. Stay tuned…. 

Photo by Rodolfo Clix on


  1. bibi1098

    My suggestion is to make the writing goal a habit, but not an end result.
    Don’t worry about “write a book by x month” or “write x number of well thought out posts per week”.
    Instead, focus on the hobby/habit and the benefit it gives you. “Every day I will write 3 sentences”. You can write more if you are inspired, but don’t pressure yourself to do more than that. If you don’t have the motivation to write 3 sentences, pull up a good book a copy 3 sentences word for word, and that’s it, task done.
    Don’t pressure yourself to figure it out and be productive from the start. Masterpieces take many years of brain rumination before you have an aha moment to put it all together.
    If writing helps you sort your emotions, use it for that! Don’t turn a hobby or a therapeutic tool into a chore.
    The masterpiece evolves from repetition and consistency, not from motivation or forced labor.

    Liked by 1 person

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