Help or no help situation

As soon as we had Emma many friends and family recommended I hire help. I grew up in Brazil where it is very common for moms to hire night nurses, nannies, and maids. In the US this is not as common but in Miami it’s more common as there is a big mix of latin american moms and countries. Richard and I decided to hire help for 2 afternoons a week once he went back to work. He basically saved all his holidays and days off to help with baby and I and I’ll be forever grateful as he is my best supporter in times like these. When we had Mathias, he took off a whole 2 months. Mathias was born October 29, 2018 and he only went back to work the first days of January 2019. 

The person we hired had worked for a neighbor of ours and came highly recommended. One of her first days I shared what I was living and she was a mother of 4 and was one of the ones that told me she didn’t have the ‘luxury’ to feel bad and just trucked through. As I look back to our interactions I realize how insensitive she was and wished I’d done something about it but since everything took so much effort I didn’t. One morning she texted me and told me she had to take an emergency trip back home, which was Nicaragua. I was worried for her and sent her my best wishes. She sent us a friend of hers as a backup who ended up not working out for the best either. 

A few weeks after I found out the reality. She had lied to us. She had been hired for more hours by a friend of mine who was recommended this lady in a Whatsapp group chat of moms. My friend lives in Mexico and was coming to Miami for the end of year and needed help with her one year old as she worked full-time. This lady took her up on the offer. A few weeks into the job she found a letter addressed to Carolina & Richard (aka Us) and she asked if she knew us. My friend shared we were very close friends and she asked for her to lie to us as she’d worked for us in the past. My friend told me immediately and we both agreed on not sharing we knew anything. Once the lady stopped working with her she called my friend out as a gossiper. In other words, we had help but she really wasn’t that helpful and I never trusted her with Emma. It took me a few more months and despair before seeking for more help.

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